3 Questions That Can Turn Today’s Failures Into Tomorrow’s Triumphs
When something goes wrong in your life, who do you blame? The economy? Your parents? The weather? Of course you’re justified – if the economy wasn’t in the dumps, you would have made your sales quotas, if mom hadn’t needed the car, you would have gotten to work on time, and if it wasn’t raining, you would have gotten up and run 3 miles this morning. Right? Wrong.
We’re talking about every area of your life – relationships, business, finance and health –
and the one secret to achieving success (drum roll please) . . .
A lot of people get stuck blaming outside circumstances for what’s lacking in their life. You probably know these people: they just can’t do this or that because of what has been done to them. It’s not their fault! It’s just that Life is unfair, and there is nothing they can do.
When you blame, you become the victim of your own life.
But here’s the truth: there is always something you can do. And here’s the secret: the real difference between those who achieve success and those who don’t is the life-changing mind set of responsibility.
You don’t get to control what the weather or the stock market or your mother is doing.
You only get to control what you are doing.
Yes, Life happens. To all of us. And sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, and sometime other people have it much better or much worse. But here’s the thing to remember at all times:
You don’t get to control the events.
You only get to control how you respond. E + R = O
Dr. Reisnick’s formula adds the Event, plus your Response, in order to calculate the Outcome. It is not the event alone that is responsible.
You are half of the equation.
What you choose to do influences the final outcome.
Take a look at the following 3 questions. The next time you find yourself in a challenging or unpleasant predicament, ask yourself the following:
· Question #1: WHAT ROLE DID I PLAY?
Even if it was a small role, own up to your part in it. Practice taking responsibility for your choices by starting with the small things. If it rained at the birthday, say, “I chose to have the party on this date.” If there was an accident on the freeway, say, “I chose to take this route.”
· QUESTION #2: WHAT DO I NEED TO DO DIFFERENTLY?
Take a look at the situation and identify what you will do differently next time. “When planning an outdoor party, I will schedule a rain date.” Or: “When I know there’s an important meeting at work, I will leave fifteen minutes early.”
· QUESTION #3 IDENTIFY THE LESSON AND MOVE ON
Once you identify what it is that you can do differently, it’s important that you identify the lesson, forgive yourself, and move on. Identifying the lesson can help give this process finality. In the example of the rained-out party and the missed work meeting, make the statement: “I learned to plan for the unexpected.” Then tell yourself, “Next time, I will plan for the unexpected.”
Because you have identified the lesson,
doing better next time isn’t some vague and shadowy hope,
but a specific thing you can name and do.
This makes it easier to trust yourself, to let go of feeling bad, and move into a more proactive mindset.
But remember, it all starts with responsibility! It begins with owning up to your part. With saying yes, I messed up, but next time, I’ll do better.
And you will do better because you’ve gained something valuable: a lesson won by experience.
What is the biggest lesson your mistakes have taught you? We’d love to hear your story. Visit us at RichLifeAdvisors.com and join the discussion!