Have You Been Seduced by the Need to Complain?

become a better steward of your Energy, Time & Relationships

Type in a Google search for complaints published in the media and you will get over 60 million hits. Venting, griping, and blowing off steam may well sell stories, but research shows that when it comes to improving your outcome, complaining doesn’t help!

Consider the following documented findings:

·        Couples who were more likely to cross-complain, meaning they responded to a complaint with a complaint, had relationships that were ultimately doomed for failure.


·        Customers who remained calm when experiencing a problem received resolutions that met or exceeded their expectations.


We think the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but really what happens is the wheel ends up where it had no intention of going. 


Most people don’t even realize how negative they are. In fact, over half of most people’s thinking tends to lean towards the negative and fear-based.

It’s surprising how much more Energy will become available to you once you become aware of this inner drain. For most people, the word “energy” applies to how our bodies feel, and it is interesting to note that the noun “complaint” has come to mean an actual physical ailment or injury. The real cause of these ailments might surprise you. 

Our thoughts are full of energy – even before we act on them.

That’s right – the study of Quantum Physics has determined that thought patterns are energy that can actually be measured. Ask yourself, how do you measure up with respect to being a good steward of your thought energy? 

·        Are you allowing negative thoughts to have free reign?

·        Does fear, resentment, jealousy and bitterness, most often occupy your mind? 

·        Do you talk about and replay past grievances over and over?

Truth is, most complaints are not intended to solve problems.

In fact, most of them are not even directed at the people with whom the problem occurred!

This is a tremendous waste of our Time. Like energy, time is another human asset that we never seem to have enough of.  We are all given the same amount of it every day, yet some of us seem to be able to do much more with it than others.


Being a good steward of your time means learning what to say No to.


This includes thoughts that are not helpful, conversations that perpetuate complaints with no intention of a solution, and relationships that seem to be a constant drain.


You will find that you are either spending your time moving towards or away from your RichLife.


This does not mean that you are involved in bad pastimes or wrong activities, but that you are involved in things that are not helpful. A better use of your time and energy is to become more proactive.

·        Look for the things that are right instead of wrong

·        Identify what you can control and what you cannot

·        Focus on what you can do and create favorable conditions

·        With regards to relationships that are an energy drain, set up clear boundaries

·        Birds of a feather flock together: invest in relationships that are good for you

There’s something wonderful that happens when you demonstrate good stewardship in your Relationships with others.


Take care of the people around you, and the conditions become favorable

that they will take care of you.


We all need to blow off steam once in a while, but I give you the following challenge: see if you can go for one day, one hour even, without complaining, either aloud or in your thoughts. See what happens when you put that energy to use in a different way, and then tell me about your experience. I’d love to hear it!


For more tips on how you can apply the principal of wise stewardship to your everyday life, get a copy of Beau’s newest book, The RichLife, 10 Investments forTrue Wealth at http://www.richlifeadvisors.com/the-book/ 

Beau Henderson is a financial advisor, author, coach, radio personality, and CEO of RichLife Advisors. He has helped over 3,000 clients to not just improve their relationship with money, but to live the life of their dreams.



About Beau Henderson

Beau Henderson is a financial advisor, author, coach, radio personality, and CEO of RichLife Advisors. He has helped over 3,000 clients to not just improve their relationship with money, but to live the life of their dreams.


  1. denny hagel on May 16, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    Great article Beau! As you know my business is based on positive parenting so I am with you 100%!

  2. Beau Henderson on May 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Yes Denny!

    When we complain,  we use our precious energy on things that do nothing to move us toward what we want.

  3. Olga Hermans on May 16, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    Complaining doesn't bring us anywhere, only to a huge STOP sign. The traffic light will stay red for a long time as long as we keep complaining. There is a law of lift, that when we speak positive words (according to God's word) our life will take off and get above the law of gravity!! I am talking to myself here as well 🙂 Thanks Beau!

  4. Sean Smith on May 18, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Nice loving slap in the face, Beau!  =)  So true – complaining gets us nowhere, especially when it's only being shared with people who can't do anything about the problem.  Thanks again.

  5. Carol Giambri on May 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Thanks Beau.  If I took the negative attitude, seeing the glass half empty, when my dog was deathly ill, it would have had been additional stress plus a breakdown in my own health.  I believe negativity impacts our health.  Appreciate your wisdom.

  6. Sharon O'Day on May 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Beau, I'm always amazed at how impervious people are to how they waste time, as if it were a limitless commodity.  Great reminder that complaining is one way to waste it …

  7. Sharon on June 17, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    I really think that most people don’t realize how negative they are or how they are perceived by others. Maybe complaining has become a bad habit for some people just like smoking, being lazy etc. Complaining can really be a seduction without you realizing it, so thanks for the reminder!
    Sharon Worsley

    4 Diamond Leadership ™

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