“Persuasion is a cousin of influence. It is the ability to move a person towards action with the desire of a specific goal. A lot of people have asked me, how is this different from manipulation? And I’ve given it a lot of thought.The key difference is that persuasion allows both parties to improve their lives.Manipulation, on the other hand, elicits individuals or groups to think or do something that might not necessarily be in their best interest.In the years that I’ve been talking about this, I’ve searched around for the best explanation that I could find. In his book, “The Art of Talking So People Will Listen”, Dr. Paul Swets provides an outstanding explanation of the difference between persuasion and manipulation. I will quote him directly here:
“Manipulation aims at control, not cooperation. It results in a win/ lose situation. It does not consider the good of the other party.
Persuasion is just the opposite. The persuader seeks to enhance the self-esteem of the other party. The result is that people respond better because they are treated as responsible, self-directing individuals.”
Think of manipulation and persuasion like good and evil cousins. They are both concerned with the learned art of understanding human interaction. One uses their skills to help others, the other uses their skills to help themselves.
Says Bob: “Manipulators are so focused on themselves, and their own self-interest, they do only what they feel is to their own benefit. And if it hurts the other person, so be it. What they don’t realize is that not only is this not a good life practice, it’s not good business practice.”
|have employees||have loyal teams|
|have customers & referrals||have repeat business|
|have family & friends||have fulfilling relationships|
“Selling this way is based on asking the right questions, really understanding the customer’s wants, needs, and desires. The focus is always on the other person and the aim is to add value to their life.”
“Money is the thunder to value’s lightening. The commission or fee is the direct and natural result of the value that you provide.”
Have you ever experienced working with a "Go-Giver" professional who was focused on serving you and what was in your best interests? What was that experience like for you? How about working with someone who was focused only on what they wanted to sell you? How did that leave you feeling? Would you do business with that person again? I’d like to hear what’s on your mind.
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